Freewriting exercise today is going to be only 10 minutes strictly. I have been suffering with a headache that desperately wants to be a migraine today, and it is exhausting me. What I need to do is get away from a screen but I will not quit either! My mind is literally blank. This headache is disgusting, it feels like white noise has permeated my entire body, my entire being. I was at a loss for a moment at work today as everything in my mind just shut down and I couldn’t concentrate. I was staring at my screen but I think I had momentarily forgotten what a screen was even. I kept getting sudden insights and ‘oh yeah’ moments, but they would rapidly vanish again and I was left, at the start of a freak out and my heart racing, because I just couldn’t think what I was doing.
It wasn’t like normal anxiety attacks that I have been through before either, they normal couple with an overwhelming sense of dread and doubt and my mind is full of thoughts, drowning out rationale, and obstructing my work. No, today it was a void, and it scared me. Truly.
Also the pain. There is sometimes a sharp pang in the front of my head, just on the tip of the skulls curvature, or it will be the crown, sometimes it goes down my face and nose – that’s a real horrible one. And other times my head gets lonely so my belly begins to twinge, and my legs have been aching these ast couple of days too. Which is annoying. I am trying not to hobble like a broken doll as I go ona tea round. Nobody says anything, so I must be successful.
Again with yhe void. It gets frustrating when the screen begins to blur and I can’t see the words too. That is the problem for writers these days, our passion is killing us. A cure would probably go out and do the gardening but… well, its gardening. And I still don’t want to! I am preparing to do it tomorrow, but today is cold and I have excuses on my side. I want my garden to be a place of rest and escape. If I force myself out to make it such a place, then I fear it will be more of a burden and I will stay cooped up inside for an even longer period of time.
Today has been a bad day all around. There was the whole I can’t get out of bed thing I suffer from every morning, then a few other things happened I have already forgotten and the pain in the front of my head is distracting me. It just hasn’t been a good day, pain is just the cherry on the icing of the cake. The mouldy, week old cake that has been left in a desert of sadness.
With a minute left I will try to uplift you dear reader with some exciting news. Taran Matharu’s Summoner: Novice comes out in a couple weeks (May 5), but the author has released a prequel on Amazon for FREE! Yes, FREE! It has already been wirelessly delivered to my Kindle, but alas, I need to plug it in.
My time is over, and I am going to go search ‘headache’ on Pixabay and set the worst/most irrelevant one as my feature image. Because that’s how things work. Goodnight.
EDIT: When I went to choose a picture, couldn’t decide between the above and below ‘headache’ image.